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No, really. It's paint all the way down to the other side. No metal, no rubber for the tires, no engine, nothing ... just paint.

Looked great, that car, when I got it. Still looks great, actually. I have to be careful, though. Over the years, I have just loved parking it under a tree on a hot summer's day and washing it, then lovingly waxing it and buffing it up to a magnificent shine. Hey, it's fine fracking paint, people, excellent paint, but I've polished it so often that from time to time I rub my way right through and leave a hole. That's lame. So, I've gotten really good with the touch-up paint.

Driving it is not so whippy, though. It operates basically like Barney Rubble's car ... I put my feet down on the ground below the car and run. It's got some kind of terrific paint bearings, though, or something, because once I get it rolling, it will keep rolling for miles. Zero emissions.

The brakes, though, are hard on the soles.

Suffice it to say, I love this car. More than anything else in my life, actually. I've had it forever, it seems, and people are always asking me, like, "Wow, that's a beautiful car, man! How long have you had it?" And I tell them I have had it since it was almost new, and they always say, "Man, I wish I could have a car like that! I mean, I love my car and all, but it's nothing like the car you have!"

I smile and nod and say "Thanks!" Little do they know just how right they are. Their cars are nothing like mine. Mine is paint, all the way through.

It's the only car I've ever had, so what do I know? Maybe all cars are just paint all the way through. I don't think so, but sometimes I wonder. I love my car and all, but what would it be like to be in a car that had an engine and brakes and all that stuff I've read about?

If I had a car that actually had an engine, I don't think I would care if it ran like crap. Just imagine! Step on the gas, and it goes! Step on the brake and it stops!

But I know lots of people that have cars like that, and they all wish they had a car like mine. A beautiful, shiny, classic car. But, they don't know.

It's paint. All the way through.