Circus Arts
The other day, The Oregonian newspaper had a flattering article about new "Circus Arts" classes being made available here in the Portland area. These are modeled after a very successful program in San Francisco that offers a range of child and adult conditioning and therapy, based on juggling, trampoline, wire walking, and even trapeze. The programs have had particular success with the handicapped and special-needs children.
Nevertheless, my initial reaction to the article was one of disbelief. I long ago lost my interest in circuses and now get a sense of foreboding when I see clowns - a feeling that is apparently shared by many other people. Circuses seem kind of creepy to me - tawdry, exploitative, dirty, tasteless and phony. In other words, perfect entertainment! (Cirque du'Soliel is to the typical circus as vodka is to voda ... not at all the same thing!)
So, my inner Woody Allen spoke up and asked me "What do you think are some of the courses offered in this "Circus Arts" program?" And here they are:
Automotive Clown Stuffing
The Greying Acrobat: The Effects of Rheumatoid Arthritis on the Mature Trapeze "Catcher"
The Greying Acrobat: "Easier to Get Into Than Out Of" - Contortions to Avoid for Those Over 60
The Greying Acrobat: Plantars Warts and Your Tight-Rope Career
The Greying Acrobat: Moving From Tight Rope to Slack Rope and the Role of Viagra
The Greying Acrobat: The Limits of Lycra
Basic Ballistics for The Human Cannonball: Surfing The Net and Why Not To
The Risks of Bareback Riding (Presented by Planned Parenthood)
Lion Taming vs. Dog-and-Pony Shows - Life and Health Insurance Considerations
Juggling for the Easily Distracted - It Can Be Done!
"It's A Big Tent!" - Practical Methods To Increase The Diversity of Your Troupe
Cirque du'Soliel: The French Name Effect as a Path to Higher Ticket Prices and Profits
Basic Circus Equipment Management: Whips, Wooden Chairs, Top Hats, Starters' Pistols, Net Mending the Greek Fisherman's Way, Giant Shoe Repair, Repairing Smoke Damage to the Eternally Burning Doll House
Re-Scoring Music for the Four-Piece Orchestra
Limitation of Liability: OSHA and the Extremely-Tall Unicycle
Basic Rousting-About
posted by Mique @ 5:53 PM
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