Real, True, Actual Headlice
"Gum goots designed with a blast to charge mobile phones"
Reuters
Your guess is as good as mine.
"Singer murdered after denying he was dead"
Reuters
Now, if it was prior to denying he was dead, that would be news!
"Oil broker banned after buying binge"
"Britain's financial regulator has fined and banned a former broker for manipulating oil prices by buying more than 7 million barrels while on a drinking binge."
Reuters
He's now being treated for severe intestinal distress.
"Inmate who ate cellmate's lung gets thirty years jail"
Reuters
"... with a very, very nervous new cell mate."
"Lion burger stirs ire"
Reuters
"South Africans have no pride" says paper.
"Man, 81, accused of machete chase near taco stand"
AP
Given first warning to keep machete chases in parks where they belong.
"Off-duty cop thwarts chain-wielding robber at KFC"
AP
Forces man to move activities to "Machete-Chase Park."
"Red light cameras catch police in western Iowa"
AP
After years of trying to avoid the state.
"Cops: Drunk pair push stroller with kids, bayonet"
AP
Now, if it had been kids and an automatic rifle or maybe a cute little Sig/Sauer automatic, that would have been okay.
"Psychic octopus picks Germany to beat Argentina, England"
Reuters UK
Not at soccer, mind you; this is Germany we're talkin' about.
"British beauty queen stripped of crown for lying"
Reuters UK
Turns out she's been telling the truth all along.
"Japan urges more dads to swap desks for diapers"
Reuters UK
Impact on office landscapes, odors unknown.
"US Embassy owes almost £4 million in UK congestion charges"
Reuters UK
An amount that's nothing to sneeze at; the Americans should cough up the dough.
"Dutch bring love of camping to World Cup"
Reuters UK
FIFA rules "pitching tents" okay, camp fires, "cumbaya" prohibited.
"Now scientists read your mind better than you can"
Reuters UK
No news here. Move along.
"Granny tasered in bed by police sues Oklahoma City"
The Oregonian
Kinky woman shocked by officers' behavior.
"Police seek man accused of several elder abuse cases"
The Hillsboro Argus
Perhaps they should look in the Oklahoma City Police Dept?
"Oregon State Penitentiary geese lose some of their flock"
Salem Statesman / Journal
Judge had warned they were a flight risk.
"Victims in officer-involved stabbing, shooting married"
The Hillsboro Argus
Variation on shotgun wedding conducted in Oklahoma City nursing home.
"Deadline nears approaching for Oregon petition signatures"
KGW News Channel 8 Portland
Is it pretty nearly fast approaching?
"Beaverton couple's dog narrowly escapes coyote"
Fox 12 Oregon
Will be able to remain in U.S.
posted by Mique @ 11:22 PM
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