The True Nature of the Numbers One thru Nine
For the everyday consumption of numbers, such as for balancing your checkbook, estimating the amount you are traveling in excess of the speed limit, or lying about your age or weight, one doesn't easily discern the true nature of the digits themselves. They do their work as symbols, always enslaved to the iron-willed demands of those real-world objects they enumerate (or intentionally obscure).
But in sudokus, the numerals might just as well be letters of the alphabet, alchemical symbols, or colors of the rainbow. In a sudoku, the numerals have no numerical purpose. They are simply place markers, pure symbols, indicating nothing except their difference from one another. As such, their otherwise hidden personalities can emerge, and to the observant and receptive sudokuant, each will have revealed its true nature.
Each of the numbers we use in our decimal system, like each of us, has a unique personality and each presents us with its challenges when it comes to more intensive uses such as computer science, speculations in futures short-sell pork-belly contracts, nuclear physics, and sudokus.
Those of us who practice the arcane and dark art of sudoku tend to be a secretive and studious lot, cowering in the dark, away from the distractions of social entanglements and physical liaisons. Sometimes by choice.
As a result, we spend much more time in the sole company of the numbers 1 thru 9 than the typical modern person. It's not that we shun the zero, you understand; it's just that the conventions of sudoku do not require its use (except for that heresy which is the super-sudoku and which shall not be spoken of here.)
Although every practicing sudokuant will recognize the descriptions offered below as being perhaps obvious, non-solvers may never have experienced the numerals' intrinsic personalities. As far as I know, no one before has recorded these emotional quirks of the numerals for their benefit, so I will endeavor here to do so:
0 As I mentioned above, zeroes are not used in true sudokus. But I assume the zero's personality is as well-rounded and balanced as it appears. But beware, these seemingly harmless digits can catch the unprepared making uncomfortable and incorrect assumptions; I assume the zero is no different, and every bit as devious as the others.
1 One must be understood as pure ego. Used to being first, the one has come to expect priority not as a convention or a privilege, but as its due, its right. Make no mistake, the one is an experienced leader, and can certainly do the job, but never forget that in sudokus, the numbers have no mathmatical values; don't let the one sweet-talk you into starting your slicing-and-dicing with a one every time. I use a strict rotation, yet the one always seems to push its way to the front.
2 Two seems so innocent and unassuming. But when we are not looking, the two is a jezebel, evening up the other digits as if their sudokuic roles were actually mathmatical. The two is unfaithful, duplicitous and corrupting - the exact opposite of its apparent equanimity and fairness. Beware.
3 Three, of course, is the obvious trouble-maker and rabble-rouser of the digits. But this reputation is somewhat undeserved. It is just that the nature of the three is boisterous, jubilant, and full of fun. Those are not qualities often appreciated by the quiet-loving and more sedentary personality of the typical sudokuant, often leading to misunderstandings and paper-shredding erasures.
4 Four has a superior and snooty attitude that makes it both unpleasant to associate with and unpopular with the other numerals. But life is often unfair, and the problem here is that the four is actually a superior number, indeed. Try not to let it know just how good it is, or you will find that the four becomes completely swell-headed and unmanageable. Be especially cautious of the closed-top four; the open-topped four has all the vanity of the breed, but at least is open-minded.
5 Five is the blue-collar-worker of numerals. It is well-centered, untroubled by doubts or distrubing dreams. Five also unfortunately lacks much creativity or passion. It is what it seems: a willing worker and a fair dealer.
6 Six is coy and devious. Beware of entering this number into a box of your sudoku in pen, because it loves to mislead you as a passive-aggressive expression of its inner hostilities. Check it twice; it is no coincidence that it looks like a snake coiled to strike.
7 Seven has a long-standing reputation for mystical and spiritual significance which it finds hard to live up to. In reality, it is just a hard-working, journeyman numeral, much like the five, trying to make its way in the world. The seven must be respected, but like a famous yet lonely super-model, it longs only to be treated as every other number is treated.
8 Eight is the great evader. It may seem friendly and avuncular, but make no mistake, this digit is one of the most truculent when it comes to revealing itself, perhaps the most devious and recalcitrant of them all.
9 Nine, of course is the numeral of death, and it cannot be understood until this is recognized and accounted for. It is neither doom nor glory, it is simply the end of all things. So, approach it warily and with due respect.
No one who often solves sudokus will be surprised by any of the above; if you are one of us, you may even say that what I have written here is so obvious as to be a foolish waste of time. But after having many, many discussions with sudoku outsiders, I know with certainty that most people do not, in fact know about these personality traits of the numerals, and many have wandered all innocent and trusting into a puzzle completely unprepared for the emotions, politics, and intrigue in which they soon are enmeshed.
I hope I have spared at least one of you an unpleasant experience and needless Wite-Out.
posted by Mique @ 3:48 PM
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