Real True Actual Headlines: 06 November 2005

Phtots from Portland Visit (8)

Ben enjoying (?) being flown by his dad. He really did seem to enjoy this ... when Aaron would stop for a while, Ben would throw his head back as if to say "let's go again!"

Photos from Protland Visit (7)

Hard to tell, but the hat is a model of a crawdad. Bonding through silliness.

Photos from Portland Visit (6)

Ben's first Halloween.

Photos from Portland Visit (5)

Ben in his lobster / crawdad suit launch hysterics. I may have sent you this one before, but, hey, it's a great one.

Photos from Portland Visit (3)

Karen in our Tualatin apartment.

Photos from Portland Visit (4)

In the long run, Aaron will forget how sleepy he was the first couple of months.

Photos from Portland Visit (2)

No naps were taken during our visit to Portland. However, the ceilings received special inspections regularly.

Photos from Portland Visit (1)

Ben has outgrown some of his "newborn" clothes already. Here he's modeling his so-Portland jeans and garage-band shirt.

Tuesday Rant

"Freedom's Just Another Word ..."

Here's a thought:

I'd like to limit the use of the word "free" in advetising to refer to products, featues, and offers that cost no money. What a concept.

It's not free if you have to buy something else to get it:

Forbid "Buy 3 Tires, Get 1 Free!"
Change to "Save 25% on Tires."

Forbid "Free meal with purchase of meal at regular menu price."
Change to "Two meals for the price of one."

Forbid "Free Gift with Paid Membership!"
Change to "Membership cost includes this crappy radio!"

Forbid "Free Shipping and Handling!"
Change to "Cost of product inflated substantially to cover shipping and handling!"

Forbid "Two days and nights, with festive dinner for two ... FREE!"
Change to "We will pay you $3 and hour to listen to our brain-numbing sales presentation."

You get my drift.

Re: News From ... ("try to be young")

Maureen -

Karen and I have had mixed results trying to be young. The techniques are
as follows:

1) Drink excessively. Results: You may in fact feel younger during this
therapy. You will almost certainly act immaturely (tough to tell with me.)
Any perceived youthfullness will be undone and more the next morning.

2) Stay up late, get up late. Results: Unknown. We have had succeeess
implementing the second part of this, but the first part, not so much.

3) Eat stuff that's really bad for you. Results: Unknown. We suspended
trials of this technique due to the danger of explosion.

4) Wear bell bottoms and anti-war buttons. Results: Unfortunately, we
always have bell-bottoms now, and anti-war buttons are still neccesary.
Both make us feel, if anything, older.

5) Stay away from actual young people. Results: Unknown. We are unwilling
to do this, whatever the possible benefit.

In sum, we don't feel old, except when we move or try to remember anything.
So maybe moving the furniture in was easy? Who's to say?

Love -

Your younger brother -
Mikey

----- Original Message -----

From: Maureen Donlon

Sent: Tuesday, November 08, 2005 12:12 PM

Subject: RE: News From ...

> RE:

> TIP #12 - When loading and unloading furniture, try to be young . . .

> How's that working out for you? Techniques?

> Please respond soonest.

RE: News From ...

Are you sure you were going from Tualatin to Colorado Springs and not from Anchorage, AK to Fremont, Ca. Good Times...Good Times....

I remember the Atco/hotel room...cozy -- warm at 20 below zero outside and 95+ inside. I remember the most-excellent pancakes the next morning, presented in shifts because the grill could only handle two at a time...I remember NOT HAVING SOME CODE to communicate with the driver of the U-Haul (ok it was Jim) who did not latch the door of the Uhaul and drove about 5 miles while the kids and I flashed lights, honked horns and basically started to laugh about the loss of the black garbage bags filled with dirty laundry....if you're going to declare that you have guns when you cross the Canadian border...make sure the guns aren't in the front of the Uhaul....

and yea...simply getting the stuff off of the trailer into your house doesn't mean you're done ... Oh, no! You still have to put everything away.

Did I say "good times...good times????"

News From ...

News from Pleasant Valley

Well, we are back "home" again. If home is where the heart is, there's some question about where we should call home now. It's still wherever we both are, but I must admit, Portland calls strongly.

Our trip back to Colorado Springs was a great adventure. Here is a little summary and some Tips for Travelers:

Tip #1: Always carry a little cash. But not too much, in case of highwaymen. A stop at the local bank's drive-up window before setting out is always a great idea.

Tttip #2: A fully-loaded full-size pickup truck towing U-Haul's largest trailer does not necessarily fit through the local bank's drive-up window aisle. Be sure you are comfortable with either backing the trailer or public humiliation (or both!) before attempting this.

Tip #3: Always leave town during morning rush hour. This will give you a good final experience of the town you're leaving. Also, try to do so during a record-breaking rainstorm. The two will combine to prolong that bittersweet parting from half an hour to an hour or more.

Tip #4: Always check your U-Haul for rust. Preferably, before hitching it to your vehicle and filling it with all your worldly belongings. Failure to do this may result in trying to pull a trailer with brakes that are reluctant to stop braking.

Tip #5: Keep your AAA membership up to date. This will help defray the cost of towing your vehicle from the Oregon town of Rufus (Sufur spelled backwards) back to The Dalles. You will have to pay to tow the trailer, though, or leave it to the mercy of the highwaymen. You will get to meet the retired Navy SEAL who is the tow-truck driver and who recounts his hobby of SCUBA diving in the Columbia River. Local color is always a plus.

Tip #6: When having an engine replaced, remember to ask them to also replace the plug wires. A cracked plug wire can short out to the block and cause very rough running and a return of "The Curse of the Check Engine Light."

Tip #7: When spending a pleasant hour or two in The Dalles, have lunch at Johnny's Cafe. They have one of those flip-over Day-Glo advertisement thingies from the 1950's and good soup.

Tip #8: Don't overtax your vehicle or yourself. If the day gets late, don't go so far trying to make up time that you get over tired. Stop at La Grande, Oregon for the night, for example. In the morning, when you get a "Check Engine" light again, you'll be pleased to find that there is a Dodge dealership right near the highway you hope someday to travel.

Tip#9: If you are delayed by engine troubles two days in a row, then it's definitely okay to drive deep into the dark of night to try to make up for lost time. Or maybe just become a gypsy. Another word on Tip #6: when replacing the engine in your vehicle, and remembering to also replacing the plug wires, go ahead and have them replace ALL the plug wires. The extra $10 you spend will be worth it in the long run.

Tip #10: When in South-Western Wyoming, stay at Little America. Wow, what a truck stop. Really nice, reasonable rooms, really cheap gasoline, really expensive food. And a high likelyhood of a blizzard in the morning!

Tip #11: Try to spend one day on the highway towing your trailer in dangerously high winds. Trailers are much more economical to tow when they are traveling on the wheels on only one side. The sight of eighteen-wheelers lying on their sides alongside the highway will keep you entertained during those long, tense, barren, windy stretches of Wyoming and Colorado. 'Cause, unless you want hog futures, there ain't no radio. Maybe satellite radio is a good thing?

Tip #12: When loading and unloading furniture in a U-Haul, try to be young. This an especially valuable tip when unloading at 7000' above sea level after having spent three months at 70' above sea level. Also be aware that simply getting the stuff off of the trailer into your house doesn't mean you're done ... Oh, no! You still have to put everything away. Which is to say, we still have to put everything away.

Tip #14: (No Tip #13!) Keep a list of all the stuff you had turned off, discontinued, had disconnected, forwarded, or cancelled. This will assist you in turning it back on, restarting it, re-connecting it, stopping the forwarding, and re-subscribing. Otherwise, you will have no e-mail service for a week after getting home. Much more important, you will have no cable tv!

Tip #15: After you get home and get your computer set up again, sort through your pictures of your new grandson and print them out to show all your friends, and remember to send the very latest ones to everyone you know. By separate email.

And thus ends our tale of "there and back again." We had such a great time, and wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Love all you guys!

Mike and Karen

Real True Actual Headlines

Tuesday, November 08, 2005