RTAH Saturday
NYTimes.com
Amid a lukewarm Europe, Bush finds a fan in Slovakia
Pres.:
"See? It's a nice, hand-painted Japanese paper one."
Even for the sickest of airlines, financial skies can be friendly
Scatalogical Sojourns shows record bookings.
Body was cut up expertly, police say
"Sure, it was a nasty and grisly murder,
but you have to admire the craftsmanship!"
MSNBCNews.com
Small pope role in Sunday prayers
Previously unknown dwarf "shadow pope" fills in
Rocket launch brings Japan back into space
Oriental nation rescued from 14th dimension!
Pond hockey attracts passionate fans
Horse hockey.
BBC.co.uk
EU considers black boxes for cars
Much cheaper, and oh, so tasteful.
Family welcomes IRA expulsions
Retirement plans had been flat for years.
Woman admits stalking Zeta Jones
... but asks her to stop doing her zombie impression once she's inside.
Newest Saturn moons given names
... and placed under bilirubin lights.
Martian gases pose life question
If we find alien life, will it be gross?
RTAH Friday
MSNBCNews.com
Federated, May close to merger
Who wants to merge if they've closed?
Jackson trial starts Monday
Trial for public continues.
BBC.co.uk
Anglican rift grows over gay row
Mixed teams nixed on church sculling team.
World population 'to rise by 40%'
Boom times for elevator shoes.
AU ready to impose Togo sanctions
Here's your change ... pull up to the next window!
Israel 'plans West Bank home boom'
Will dynamite their own buildings.
UK orders another nanotech review
Talk about micro-managing!
NYTimes.com
Democrats criticize Social Security official
"You're ugly, and your mom dresses you funny."
A.F.L. - C.I.O. leader backs shifting money to
member unions' organizing efforts
"Plenty of shifty money to give them," he says.
For New York, Olympic waiting game begins
Oh, like soccer and power walking weren't boring enough!
NBCNews.com
Hurricane rebuilding
Every storm that ran into Florida last year was damaged severely and will have to be reconstructed.
Reuters.com
Politics will take backseat to Art at Sunday's Oscars
Garfunkel to finish restoration of his '56 Chevy live on stage.
Grammy winners, performers ringing up sales
Musical fame doesn't pay all that well?
AP
Jackson jury to hear evidence on mother
Unusual seating arrangement ordered by Supreme Court.
Woman: No contest to stalking Zeta-Jones
"It was easy!"
Man who invented intermittent wipers dies
... briefly comes back to life, really dies.
Thompson shot himself while on the phone.
I know the feeling!
RTAH Thursday
MSNBCNews.com
The soy industry looks for the next big thing
Soy milk is so "has-bean."
Viacom reports a loss on $18 billion charge
You would think so!
Creatures frozen for 32,000 years still alive
Pre-historic slugger wakens, dons uniform.
U.S. to test bird-flu vaccine as warnings spread
CDC hopes to stop spread of warnings.
New synthetic paste could mean pain-free cavities
You'll still have 'em, they just won't hurt!
Are moms driving themselves to madness?
If so, will it be in a mini-van or an SUV?
BBC.co.uk
Cheering Somalis welcome leaders
Smiling throng cheerfully drags former president behind pickup.
NYTimes.com
Model in Utah may be future for Medicaid
Tiny little hospitals, itsy-bitsy doctors, teensy little hypodermic needles.
Medical companies joining offshore trend, too
Going in for you annual checkup will require a trip to the Bahamas. Oh, no!
RTAH Wednesday
MSNBCNews.com
Bush: Iran must not have nukes
"They said they don't, so I guess they don't!"
Lowe's reports higher profit, tops estimates
Lowe's higher?
Jackson really was sick, judge says
Well, that's the point of the trial isn't it?
BBC.co.uk
Prince not feeling snubbed - aide
With a nose like that, how could he?
Angry clashes over terror plans
Let's have no anger over terror!
Astronomers find star-less galaxy
Will sell, cheap.
NYTimes.com
Bush to name U.S. comptroller
Anonymous mystery man has been filling job for five years.
Toshiba names new president with a record of turnarounds
Traffic engineer to head electronics firm.
AP
Nine deaths blamed in killer Calif. storms
Corpses cause bad weather, again.
Georgia State Senate votes to honor frogs
French react with mixed emotions.
Burning manure pile in Nebraska goes out
Takes in a movie, has dinner. No kiss.
Europeans wary of Bush's charm offensive
After having found his charm offensive.
Reuters
Bush turns heat on Syria, but to wait on sanctions
Is told it's spelled "Kuwait."
Space.com
Ice packs and methane on Mars suggest present life is possible
Ice packs suggest it is a partying kind of life.
washingtonpost.com
Bush tries to allay E.U. fears over Iran
But does nothing to ease E.U. fears of U.S.
RTAH Tuesday
BBC.co.uk
Palestinian PM in cabinet crisis
Painted or wood? Panel or flush doors? Will it never end?
Reuters.com
Bush says talk of attacking Iran 'ridiculous'
"We don't talk about these things, we just do them!"
AP
Queen won't attend Prince Charles' wedding
Unfortunately has a hair appointment that day.
Seattle Times
Thousands could lose mental-health services
This is the kind of news that drives me nuts!
RTAH Monday
MSNBCNews.com
Bush tries to mend ties in Europe
Demonstrates invisible re-weaving to London haberdasher.
Scientists take aim at White House
Rogue researchers arrested by Secret Service.
Crime sleuths cope with 'CSI' effect
Hard to talk to witnesses while show is being aired.
How to avoid pesky ATM charges
Don't use them?
BBC.co.uk
Dozens sick at Australian airport
Passengers complain about disgusting facility design.
Baby becomes new Oscar favorite
Newborn leads in "Best Supporting Actor" category, Mom for "Best Producer."
Finding new homes for old phones
Phoneless advocacy groups mobilize.
NYTimes.com
Case of vanishing deductions: Alternative Tax called culprit
Culprit refused to answer phone.
RTAH Sunday
MSNBCNews.com
Foreign trip a test for Bush
Slovakia is:
a) A disease
b) Like a "mosey"
c) A brand of Vodka
d) The nation we're landing in.
Chilling treatment offers hope for stroke victims
Families encouraged to shun patients.
Rice urges Japanese to lift beef ban
Stop eating burgers on elevators?
Greenspan stand unlikely to move Congress
"The Chairman will please resume his seat!"
Help test Einstein's theories @ home
Send for D.I.Y. a-bomb kit.
BBC.co.uk
Mugabe's spin doctor to go solo
Picked up by Def Jam.
Violence mars Iraq Shia festival
Interrupting peaceful self-flagellation and slicing of scalps.
Fallout over hunt ban's first day
As a result of home A-test kits?
NYTimes.com
Audit faults U.S. for its spending on port defense
Bur starboard defense is great!
Bush seeks to begin a thaw in a Europe still cool to him
"Wow! Have you seen that Eiffel Tower? It's way cool!"
